We can probably all agree on the fact that the worst thing you can say to a person when they are in a rage is “Calm down.” Nothing invalidates a person’s nervousness like being told to do something they cannot do at that moment. It’s like telling a person to eat right after they make a point of telling you they’re not hungry. Still, there are definite moments that come up when you’re in the presence of someone who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and you need to get that person to chill.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries have strong opinions and personalities and they need to be number-one. They are competitive and love a challenge, but are often better at starting than finishing. They’re not afraid to speak up for what they believe. Aries become angry and anxious when they suppress their emotions, percolating with intense energy. Tell them that they’re right, no matter what it is they say or feel. Just agree with every they say, as they will have nothing to do with you if you don’t. They will calm down when they know they’re not alone, and they need your validation.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
A Taurus will patiently assess whether something is worth the investment of their time and resources. Then if the green light flashes, it’s all systems go! But until then, slow and steady wins the Taurus race. Feed them a fantasy, even if it’s a lie. Tell your frantic Taurus that everything is going to be okay, even if you’re knee-deep in the pits of a fiery hell, up to your eyeballs in human filth. They need to believe your fantasy, and that’s the only thing that will calm them down.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini has strong opinions and personalities and they often need to be the center of attention. They are highly versatile love a good argument, but will often butt heads with those whose opinions differ from their own. It takes a lot to hold an Gemini’s attention span—though once they find their passion they go in all the way! If you want your Gemini to calm down, walk away from them and leave them utterly alone. Gemini does not want to be bothered by anything or anyone, and people make them very nervous; lack of people equals lack of anxiety.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
A Cancer’s familial ties are strong, with emphasis on planting deep roots and feathering their nests. They love to encourage their loved ones to connect to their feelings, but can sometimes too strongly connect to their own! Cancer can only calm down by their own choice, and to do so, they usually lay down some “new” law that must be adhered to. They assert control over you, over themselves, over their environment. Control keeps Cancers calm.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Chief among the traits of a Leo is their fierce need for self-expression. A Leo has a strong personality and a desire to take the stage (both literally and proverbially). They are proud and will wear their heart on their sleeve, but can often get swept away in personal theatrics. Leo calms down when Leo wants to calm down. In other words, being hyped and overwrought is part and parcel to being Leo, so it’s all part of the act; calm them down by applauding them, no matter how awful they get.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
They’re not afraid to speak their minds and voice their opinions! A Virgo can become anxious when they criticize themselves and others to the point of obsession. Some of these traits of the Virgo sign can make them seem overbearing, their humor and warmth is also endearing, and their charm is irresistible. Virgo calms down when you pay the money. It’s all about the goods, the moolah and the stuff with Virgo, so when they have a financial moment of doubt, buy them a coffee. Knowing that bill is on you and not them gives them relief.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
They’re not afraid to speak up for what they believe is right. Libras become upset when their relationships are out of equilibrium. This is a sign that needs their Scales to be weighed evenly! At times, Libra can be entitled, helping themselves to other people’s hard-earned bounties without doing the work themselves. The only that really calms Libra down is being dead, so unless you kill them (which I don’t recommend), just know that your Libra friend is a nervous wreck and more than likely will never be anything but that.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Some traits of the Scorpio sign can make them seem intimidating, but their deep desire for intimacy and perma-bonding makes their magnetic charm is irresistible. A Scorpio has intense eyes, a hawk-like gaze and smooth movements. You can easily calm a Scorpio down by buying them a gift. Yes, they are that petty and, yes, they are completely down for being bought. You can buy their friendship, their love, and if you spend enough, you can buy them into a state of serenity and calm.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Some of the traits of the Sagittarius sign can make them seem a tad pompous, but their outspokenness and refreshing honesty makes them irresistible. They’re not afraid to speak their truth. If you are dealing with an upset Sagittarius, then you had best do yourself a favor and walk out of the room… now. This is a fiercely independent person who will not take advice, and they certainly won’t be “calmed down” by another. Give them space and they’ll return of their own volition.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Some of the traits of the Capricorn sign can make them seem overbearing and difficult at times, but their ambition and desire for what is good and right makes them admirable, if not an inspiration. Calming down a Capricorn is a non-starter. They don’t calm down. Not for you, not for anyone. They deal with whatever it is that upsets them, they reject all help and advice and, on their own, they calm down. It’s not a responsibility you ever need take on as they will invalidate your desire to help.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius is a tenacious fixed sign and a sociable air sign. But as the eleventh sign of the zodiac symbolized by the Water Bearer, Aquarius can also be a rebel without a cause. Calming your Aquarius down is a full-time job, and one that is both resented and ineffectual. They live in a state of nonstop anxiety and resentment. They are way too confused on a daily basis to even consider calming down. Don’t bother trying with this sign, as they have their own methods for taking it down a notch.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces are very emotional and sensitive, and those are their stand-out personality traits. But despite that, they can also calm down. If you come to aid of a Pisces and you help them calm down, they will become addicted to your attention and use you as their personal “feel good person.” Pisces wants you to calm them down. They’ll even throw a fit just so you can give them the attention they need. Calming a Pisces down is a job that masochists only need apply.